Monday, 25 July 2011

Ulterior motives.

Yesterday (the 23rd of July), I took Haz's three year-old sister to the park so she could go down slides and run around and be a happy little toddler. While we were there she made friends with a six year-old little girl called Louise. She ran around with her happily enough because Louise wanted to help little Jazmin get up and down from stuff because Jazmin is pretty small for her age. At one point, Jazmin ran to this fireman's pole and asked me to come over and help her slide down it so I did. Then, Louise came running over and asked the same thing so I obliged and helped her slide down just to make sure she didn't fall off or hurt herself.

This turned into a game for these two and they did it for a while. I noticed that the mother of this child - who made a snide comment under her breath when me and Haz walked past because we didn't thank her for moving her pram out of the way of something that Jazmin was on (common sense to not put it there in the first place but whatever) - turned to watch me to and kept an eye on me. I suppose it's understandable to be a little paranoid when the media is telling you all of this. Then, she called Louise over (I didn't notice since I was helping Jazmin) and when she came back she said to me "my mammy says I have to do it on my own." Her mother told her this because every good deed has to have an ulterior motive when, really, I just wanted to make sure no one hurt themselves. Pretty much, I was accused of having some other reason for wanting to help her down when all I did was say yes because she asked me to. I'm sure she would have said something had I said no so it's a lose-lose situation.

It's a shame to see that now everything you do is for some demented and twisted reason. Everything has to have a disgusting reason. There's no being a nice person any more. This is true for a lot of men because statistics are against us really so the judgements are understandable in a sense. If Haz had been doing it, would she have said the same thing? Was it that she thought I was going to kidnap her little girl? Was it just because I didn't say thank you for her moving her moveable object? I don't care about her really, she seemed like a horrible person with her glares, her muttering and her general listlessness when it came to her children. But then again, am I any better because I'm making a snap judgement right there? She judged me so I judged her. "An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind" but maybe we're already blind to good deeds?

Paranoia seems to be infecting us all. I must admit that I'm very paranoid in public and I'm wary in case someone tries to steal my wallet and/or phone. In fact, most of the time I lock my doors in my car in case someone tries to steal my car from me. Knowledge seems to be empowering us but also scaring us senseless. It's a mad world that we live in and this weekend has proved that. Is it possible that the film Surrogates might actually become true?

Everything is associated with something terrible. You help someone pick something up then you're stealing from them. You're nice to a child and you're a paedophile or a kidnapper. You accidentally walk into someone and you're picking a fight. You smile at someone and you're a pervert. You offer to help in any way shape or form then you want someone back. This is the new-age of paranoia now. The bad thing is, we can all justify this paranoia because of what we hear about on the news or from acquaintances. It's such a shame but it feels like a necessary precaution. In age where we're all networked via the internet and connected to one another, it seems that you can't make any real friendships from scratch on the street any more. It's probably more socially conventional to start it online.

Then, starting it online has its drawbacks. Online relationships have always been threatened thanks to the perverted few that took the internet as a way to be a predator so we're paranoid on there too. It just seems like all of our attempts are futile and that we may as well just all become hermits because the world is too dangerous. When it becomes technologically possible, I can see people actually becoming hermits and remaining home because it's the safer option. Existence will be dull and there'll be no real relationships; you won't know the person behind the machine. It's time to prepare for the anti-social era - it looks like its already begun.